Why Do I Feel Guilty When Setting Boundaries?
Tired of feeling stretched too thin? Saying yes when you want to scream no? Putting everyone’s needs ahead of your own? Let’s flip that story.
Book a session at Zode Kinesiology and start restoring your energy, your voice, and your boundaries, without the guilt. 💛
Have you ever said yes to something when every part of you was whispering (or screaming), “No, don’t do it!”—but you did it anyway? Maybe it was helping at school (again), saying yes to work on your day off, or being the emotional support sponge for someone who never checks in on you.
Sound familiar?
Welcome to the world of leaky boundaries. A place where people-pleasing thrives, exhaustion runs high, and your sense of self slowly disappears under everyone else’s expectations.
Here’s the kicker: it’s not just about others taking advantage of you. It’s about you dropping your boundaries. That’s a tough truth but also an empowering one. Because if you dropped them, you can call them back.
What Are Boundaries, Really?
Boundaries are like energetic fences. They define what’s okay and what’s not okay with your time, energy, emotions, and body. They're how we teach others how to treat us and how we honour ourselves.
Without clear boundaries, life can feel:
Draining
One-sided
Confusing
Resentful
Guilty
Out of balance
You may find yourself constantly tired, avoiding conflict but fuming afterwards, dreading commitments, or feeling like you’re never enough. When your self-worth starts to wobble, everything else does too.
Why Do We Struggle So Much with Boundaries?
There are plenty of reasons. Childhood patterns. Fear of being rejected. Wanting to be liked. Avoiding conflict. Feeling responsible for everyone’s happiness. And the big one? Guilt.
Guilt for putting ourselves first.
Guilt for saying no.
Guilt for not being available 24/7.
But here’s the truth, beautiful soul: your needs matter too. And the only way to honour them is by getting clear on your boundaries and (deep breath)… speaking them and holding them up.
“But Zoe, Keeping Boundaries Is Hard!”
Yes, it can be, especially for women and mums. You’ve been conditioned to be everything for everyone. You’re juggling work, kids, ageing parents, mental loads... and you’re tired but wired, kind but depleted.
One beautiful woman I worked with had shoulder pain, exhaustion, stiffness, and was totally stuck. When we gently explored her boundaries, she realised something huge: she was playing the role of “mum” not just to her grandkids and adult children, but to her husband as well.
She never stopped. She kept a mental diary and reminded the family of everything, picked up after everyone, did the jobs no one else noticed, and forgot her own needs. No wonder her body was screaming.
So, she began setting boundaries. She stopped over-functioning. She stopped over worrying and over thinking. She said no. She started putting herself on the list. And guess what?
Her pain eased
Her energy rose
Her digestion improved
Her lightness returned
She became more grounded and more herself and the ripple of that was felt in her whole family.
This is possible for you, too.
This Is Where Kinesiology Comes In (And It’s Kinda Magic)
At Zode Kinesiology, we don’t just talk about boundaries, we work with them energetically, emotionally, and practically.
I guide you to:
Calm your nervous system so you stop reacting from stress
Ground your base chakra so you feel worthy and safe
Strengthen your solar plexus to rebuild self-worth and inner power
Open your heart chakra to tune into what you truly want
Balance your throat chakra to speak your truth clearly and confidently
Release the emotional baggage that keeps you in old loops of people-pleasing and burnout
This work is deep, but it’s gentle and guided at your pace. You’re never alone in it.
Common Signs You Might Need Boundary Support
Check in with yourself. How many of these feel true?
You’re always the helper, never the helped
You feel guilty when you do something just for you and you do it quickly in case someone needs you
You avoid conflict at all costs
You say yes and regret it immediately
You feel drained by certain people
You often feel unappreciated or resentful
You over-explain when you try to say “no”
You find it hard to rest, often multitasking
You feel a tight chest or clenched jaw
You crave alone time but don’t get it (read…give it to yourself!)
You’ve forgotten what brings you joy
You feel responsible for fixing or managing others
You feel guilty for putting yourself first
If even a few of those made you nod (or sigh), you’re not broken. You’re just overdue for a boundary reset.
Boundaries Are a Practice, not a Personality Trait
No one is born knowing how to set perfect boundaries. It’s something we learn—or don’t. But the good news? You can learn. And unlearn. And gently shift, one step at a time.
Setting boundaries doesn’t make you selfish. It doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you care about yourself too.
And when you protect your energy, you’re more available for the people and things that truly matter, with more presence, peace, and purpose.
A Final Word (and a Loving Nudge)
Boundaries are one of the greatest gifts you can give your future self.
They are the quiet declarations that say:
“I am enough. My needs matter. I choose me with love, not guilt.”
If this resonates deeply... maybe it’s time.
💛 Book your session at Zode Kinesiology and let’s begin this beautiful journey back to you.
Or, just try this: do one thing just for you every day this week; guilt-free and joyfully and tell me about it on our socials.
From my Heart to Yours x
Zoe
hello@zode.com.au