Death Becomes Us All

Holding hands in Death

Recently I attended a “Night with Spirit” with Michele. I didn’t know what to expect but the promotion caught my eye, so I went along. I’m grateful I did. I should mention Michele and I did not know each other.

The evening was to connect to loved ones who had passed. You’re imagining a fast-talking psychic who asks questions until the participant says yes that’s right and they are “blown away” by the whole thing.

This was far from that.

A gently held space by Michele who prepared to be the link to our loved ones. Her accuracy was spot on. Her delivery genuine, humble and spotted with humour.

My Dad was waiting. His arrival, preceded by a loud alarm outside and Michele saying, “You’re Dad says to move on he needs to talk to you”, as she pointed at me. Dad always had an impatient streak!

Dad was a Yorkshireman. Generous, wise and a gentle adventurer. He was blessed with a life well lived. My parents raised four daughters, settled with partners and eight grandchildren. Dad worked hard, often stressed and enjoyed getting away, being in the company of family and friends with the indulgence of great food and wine. Over time this took its toll.

On 28th July 2017 my Dad peacefully passed away. Surrounded by three generations. Each in our own way saying thank you and goodbye with a silent cheer of his favourite brandy.

But let’s take a small step back here.

As a kinesiologist I work with energy. Supporting my clients to connect to their feelings and emotions to find their own healing. When I arrived to see Dad, for what would be the last time, I was surprised at the physical change. But also surprised how easily I could connect to him through the small movement of his lips, the scrunching of his face in happiness, the tear rolling from his eyes showing how proud he was of us. He was communicating at a deep level.

I sat holding his hand, stroking his thinning hair, knowing he was close to death. His eyes were striking; the right still showing life in this world while the left was an icy blue, vacant to the room. It was already connected beyond to where his soul was going.

As dad faded, a sense of urgency grew in the room. My sister was yet to arrive, and she needed to say her goodbyes. Holding dad’s hand, I spoke to his icy blue eye. Gently reassuring and at times firmly telling him “you cannot leave yet, we’re not all here, you have to breathe and wait a little longer”.

As a family we all held hands and breathed together…

1, 2, 3 Breathe.

He would gasp for breath, holding onto life as my sister arrived. About five minutes later he peacefully passed away. I slumped on the floor exhausted, knowing I had supported his passing.

Michele continued to share what Dad was communicating. He told me how proud he was of all his daughters and grandchildren. That we have chosen a different path and that it was the right one for each of us.

Dad said that my jump into Kinesiology was brave and it will blossom into the vision I have of it. He said he had been scared to let go, unaware of what to expect in the moment of death. He had mostly believed that when you die your gone. That’s it. He said he heard me talking in those final moments. He wanted me to know I had supported him to feel safe and had shown him what to expect so he could pass away with ease. He felt honoured that I could share this gift with him, and he wanted me to share it with others.

Willy Wag Tail

He said he was the willy wag tail dive bombing the real estate agents as they admired his well-stocked wood pile with greedy eyes. He wanted us to care for the massive rock at his grave. Everything Michele said confirmed it was my Dad. Unmistakably his language, his tone. Telling me things she would never have known.

Every member of my family will have a different interpretation of my Dad’s passing. Each one equally as profound and connected. For me this experience has confirmed that I am on my right path. Heading toward connecting to people deeply and supporting them on their healing journey and maybe one day beyond this world.

I know this is a hard topic to talk about. But death is part of the cycle of life. Please share your experiences of death, as I think it should be talked about more and celebrated. If your experiencing a period of death and you want to talk, please get in touch. I’d feel honoured to support you and your family.

From my heart to yours

Zoe Jack
Zode Kinesiology